The Mayonnaise Jar
A couple of months ago my friend sent me this little story that I absolutely loved. It allowed me to pull back my perspective and look at the bigger, simpler picture of life – take hold of what’s important and don’t lose sight of it. One of my favorite quotes is from Robert Brault, ” Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
So when things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar, and the coffee…
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ” I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things your faith, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
What are the golf balls in your life? The pebbles? The sand? What does your mayonnaise jar look like? How do you focus the most important things in your life?
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About the author
I believe in challenging the status quo and thinking differently, constantly. My past has been living in the limits of a societal context, my future lies in following what I believe in, and that middle ground known as present day consists of the surreal purpose of living in the now.
This is damn near perfect.
Right!? When I read it the first time, I was thinking the exact same thing.
Wonderful article…but please fix the spelling problems. It’s “lose” not “loose” and “sight”, not “site”.
It’s hard to get past that…first paragraph.
Thanks Terry – that’s my laziness right there.
Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for pointing that out!
I’ve heard about this story before, why didn’t I turn it into a post?
The serious part now. This goes to show two important situations: the “I don’t have time” situation and the “what’s really important” situation.
As for the first situation, you’ll forever have it solve if you establish the second. Did this make any sense?
Ha – I had the same exact thought. I heard this story months ago, and it randomly dawned on me that this would make an awesome post.
It makes perfect sense. Focus in on what’s really important and let go of what’s not. I think that can be difficult, letting go. We easily form attachment to things, even what’s not really important to us, and like the sand it begins to fill in our lives. But like you said, keeping a keen focus on what’s really important and our time will never be wasted. Very, very well put Hugo!
This is lovely! A very graphic reminder, and one with coffee in it too… I wish I would have been the professor that could present the lesson like he did
Ha – gotta love a story with coffee in it! But yes – I really love rereading this one.
And although you didn’t present this lesson, I feel like you have some pretty awesome ideas for you own Mayonnaise Jar lesson, like understanding our true potentials…let me know know when that day comes and you present it!
That’s really sweet, thank you!
What a fantastic story… and a great reminder. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the small, unimportant stuff in life. Focusing on what matters is easier said than done, but still something to strive for!
Couldn’t agree more Krista! What’s worked well for me is practicing focusing in on the bright spots of life. The things that I enjoy, the people I enjoy it with, positive actions, awesome outcomes, etc. Seems that when I can do that, there isn’t time for reminiscing on the insignificant things…missing a tv show.
Definitely something to strive for. Thanks for the great thoughts Krista!
I’ve heard this story before. It’s just so good. What a wonderful representation of life and what is really important to us. It really puts things into perspective.
It does, doesn’t it. I love little stories like this. They’re interesting and meaningful and I’ve been looking for ways to diversify my blog content – I think this is an awesome way. So I’ll try to keep the inspiration coming!
As always, really appreciate you stopping by Steve!
We are always so busy busy busy.
mom: son will u be home for dinner?
son: i cant mum, im busy…
dad: let’s night out with mum tmr sweetie
daughter: i gotta work dad…so sorry
boss: Please OT (work overtime) tonight , i need the proposal tmr.
worker: yes boss…
Its always a No to our love ones and a Yes to our bosses. Nowadays, probably for most people, our Boss forms our major ‘Golf balls’ in life and every other little things become sand and coffee.
Thank you for this lovely article! Never harm to read the same good articles twice, thrice and more! cheers !
Wow – well put!
That is so true. I think we look at our friends and family as staples in our life, so much so that we overlook their importance and put them on the back burner first. I can tell you I certainly have.
Really love the way you layer out this example. It makes this post all the more real! Thanks Kin May!
I have also heard this story and it is a fantastic analogy piece.
We come from a place where we were living in San Diego and caught up in the hustle bustle of having all the right stuff to “survive”. We sold it all and moved to Hawaii. We have very few things and love our home, we wear less clothes, we do more activities, many are free and we’ve met wonderful people who we take the time to make a dish and bring for dinner on the beach or in our homes.
We also have friends and family booked to come stay in our Ohana. It is quality time we get to spend with the people we love and we don’t miss the hustle bustle, gotta have a bigger tv to suck ourselves into negative talk and more things we should buy!
Aloha Wags!
Hi Jt! I’m really looking forward to interacting more. Hawaii has been this deep rooted desire, that seems to be in the near future, always. I have a friend who moved to Hawaii and he just got a house right off the North Shore. The past couple times I’ve talked to him, he said he loves it but it really takes some getting used to. He’s like 10 miles from anything. Much more simple life – one everyone talks about, but now he, and you!, are actually living it.
Long story short he said I could come out crash with him for a few months and see if I can try and find some work out there. From the moment he said that I’ve been stoked, but reading your comment has made me all the more excited. Seems like the move has been awesome for you!
Thanks for the comment – it’s nice to get a little taste of Hawaii
I love that story. It’s interesting how perspective can change things.
Well congrats on the Versatile Blogger Award today.
Hope you have a good day.
Bryce
Agreed – this story is one of my favorites!
And thank you Bryce – I really appreciated your response to my comment too!
Have an awesome weekend.
I remember reading this story in Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s still a great illustration of how we can get the most out of our life. I like how the golfballs are like the “big” things in our lives and the sand is just the details.
Thanks for sharing and reminding me of this great story!
You got it Grady! It’s amazing how a jar, some golf balls, and sand can illustrate a perspective that can shift our mindsets. I love stories that take such simple ideas and use them to widen your gaze. There’s some other ones I’ve read that I really want to incorporate in future posts, and feel free to share any good ones you’ve come to know.
In the mean time I’m looking forward to checking out Success Building Blocks…I think briefly checked it out the other day from Bryce’s blog.
Have an outstanding weekend Grady!
Hi Chris,
I love this story too! Seems we should plan our days beginning with golf balls and move to the coffee last, but I wonder how many days I just hit the ground running with the coffee and forget about the golf balls altogether!
Thanks for the reminder!
Lori
I feel the same way Lori. Caught up in accomplishing my routine because, well, that’s my routine, that’s what I’ve trained myself to do. But having a reminder to step back and take a look at what those big things are in our life and then examine if our daily actions revolve around them is a wonderful practice.
Thanks so much for sharing Lori!
Hey Chris,
I have heard this story before and it never get’s old. It is so important to focus on the big stuff because there will be time for the smaller things eventually.
So true Justin!
And I agree that it never get’s old, because at least for me, I can use that reminder, especially when my life gets bogged down with a relentless focus on the little things. Take hold of what’s important!
I’d heard this story before too. It’s a good reminder that wisdom never gets old, and we never lose the need to hear it. I have my coffee with a friend scheduled for tomorrow!
Ha! Awesome Jen. Well I hope that coffee with your friend went well. I’m actually having a cup as I’m writing you.
For me this story is something I like to remind myself with whenever I’m going to make some life decisions. It comes down to a very simple notion. Does what I’m deciding to do revolve around what is important to me? I don’t think you can make a bad decision if you keep that in mind.
Thanks for coming by!
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